X-CLUSIVE! GENUINE™ GEOFF DOLL ACTION FIGURE!

EXCLUSIVE COLLECTOR'S EDITION! GEOFF ACTION FIGURE

IN KILT AND AKUBRA AS SEEN IN THE SUNDAY MAIL
NOT AVAILABLE IN SHOPS!!!    ACT NOW!!!

A Million Uses:-

• Investment — either capital gain for your grandchildren or rental income — OR — negative gearing to reduce tax liability;

• Professional IT Services — will complain about email attachment sizes and printer sharing for hours on end;

• “Fourth” for Bridge — In case you can only find two friends, the Genuine™ Geoff Action Figure will learn to play bridge as quickly as a proper human! and

• Scarecrow — In addition to crows and locusts, may also scare away unwanted cats PLUS neighbours' children.

• … Plus 999,996 More! — that we can't publish here for reasons of space, but which certainly DO EXIST (we don't want any trouble with the Trade Practices people … THOSE %$!@* VULTURES).

Adventure!

Fun!

Cosmopolitan!

And LOOK at this Amazing and Excruciating Attention to Detail:—

Wedding Ring

Garter Belt

Shiny Bald Patch™

So WHAT could this Staggeringly Amazing Thing possibly be WORTH? Well, if you found it at a garage sale or church fête, it would, admittedly, be about 50 cents. But because we have to recover the full economic value of production, on a true-cost basis, plus normal markups and agents' commissions, the Genuine™ Geoff Action Figure can be yours for only $13,250.00 (including GST).

And just look at these fantastic “optional accessories”:

• Pocket knife for levering open PC cases with stripped screws — $49.95 $39.95 $59.95

• Bandaids for cuts and abrasions from sharp metal edges of PC cases — $5.75

• Iced coffee carton (expiry date > 10 days) — $3.20 (HIGHWAY ROBBERY)

• Iced coffee carton (expiry date ≤ 7 days) — not available at any price

• 2Gb USB Key (to leave behind at client's premises) — $12.00

• 173 Long Playing Records — $500.00 O.N.O.

• Record Player (SORRY, NO LONGER AVAILABLE)